[Carrie]

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze.

When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby)square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had is somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.

Women are the "weaker sex"?

Yeah, right. Bite me!

 

[deb93fxlr]

Man, did this make me depressed! I only have the grand finale to go. Not much to look forward to that's for sure!

Only good thing about right now is that I'm in my prime!LOL

 

[ginger]

i have never expierenced child birth, but bill cosby once said.....imagine pulling your lower lip clear over the top of your head......feel the pain? child birth is worse pain then that.......LOL

 

[medicinewoman]

Look at this way ... if we can survive all that (which I have) you can deal with anything..... and I mean anything.



Cheri aka Medicine Woman

 

[Thealien]

Even me ????

 

[DJW]

We start to notice that that this thing between our legs has a brain of it's own at 9 or 10 years old, only to find anything that comes in contact with the tender rod, makes the little thing stick up like a louiville slugger. Enter the little brain that makes the louiville slugger create a little tent in our pants at the very time we have to stand in front of the class and explain how the articles of confederation became the us constitution.

By the time we hit the mid-teens (or sooner) the little brain has seized complete control of the big brain. The little slugger now cannot be satified without being in a nice warm hole, and it is NEVER satisfied. Meanwhile the object our affection, namely the next warm hole, is so preoccupied with wanting to "just be freinds" that the little brain keeps telling the big brain " just tell her anything but get into that warm hole NOW!" Another stange thing is that all of sudden every guy you've known your whole life looks at you like a hyhena trying to steal the last piece of meat from the savannah.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as satisfing as box of twinkies. Sure it's great while your eating it, but the next thing you know is your saddled with 100 pounds of dead weight. As the little brain takes a few minutes rest, the big brain realizes that you've just made a life time commitment to the devil.

Then it's off to Fatherhood where we learn to work 80 hours a week to pay for a house, car, shoes, heat ,water....etc...etc.... Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to keep our mouths shut or face the devil woman, who all of sudden is now harder to satisfy than the little slugger ever was. And of course the devil now has decided that she can walk around looking like an overweight bride of frankenstein. Meanwhile the little brain is looking around for another warm hole, because, as it turns out, the little brain doesn't work well when the regular hole won't shut the hell up.

Next we realize that we have found a new freind. It's called "my chair." My chair is magic place where we can go to like an island in a storm....all we need is to utter the words.."honey, the game is on"

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and all of sudden the little lady realizes that that hole can be alot of fun to play with (no sh*t!) sorry, too little to late. Besides, the Secretary gives better head. Fact is that it's not that you're not interested in sticking the little slugger in holes anymore, just not that hole.

Fortunately that doesn't last long because...

Now the little devil hits the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. This is the part where the devil crawls into a little cocoon and comes out as godzilla. At this point even the magic chair is no longer a safe haven. A wise man will trade in his Lazy-boy for a Harley Davidson and have his mail delivered to a PO box. Good thing that in another couple of years protstate cancer will likely put an end to it all.

women get off so easy, while men just wonder if it would have just been smarter to have bought her a house and left her when he was still young and strong and not waited 30 years.

Now I love being a man but "manhood" surely made the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.

Women are the weaker sex!


-hehe, djw

 

[FXDeanX]

B!tch b!tch b!tch...Life is what you make it...enjoy the ride

 

[DJW]

Geez, dean you know how long it took me type all that crap, and that's all you've got to say?! You're still sore about that Jets thing aren't ya'?

 

[FXDeanX]

Nope, not sore...just a game, entertainment. And that's just how I feel about life...a game...take it one day at a time and have fun

 

[medicinewoman]

Even me ????

Yes Alien even you...

Cheri aka Medicine Woman

 

[medicinewoman]

Re: Re: Why Women are Cranky

We start to notice that that this thing between our legs has a brain of it's own at 9 or 10 years old, only to find anything that comes in contact with the tender rod, makes the little thing stick up like a louiville slugger. Enter the little brain that makes the louiville slugger create a little tent in our pants at the very time we have to stand in front of the class and explain how the articles of confederation became the us constitution.

By the time we hit the mid-teens (or sooner) the little brain has seized complete control of the big brain. The little slugger now cannot be satified without being in a nice warm hole, and it is NEVER satisfied. Meanwhile the object our affection, namely the next warm hole, is so preoccupied with wanting to "just be freinds" that the little brain keeps telling the big brain " just tell her anything but get into that warm hole NOW!" Another stange thing is that all of sudden every guy you've known your whole life looks at you like a hyhena trying to steal the last piece of meat from the savannah.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as satisfing as box of twinkies. Sure it's great while your eating it, but the next thing you know is your saddled with 100 pounds of dead weight. As the little brain takes a few minutes rest, the big brain realizes that you've just made a life time commitment to the devil.

Then it's off to Fatherhood where we learn to work 80 hours a week to pay for a house, car, shoes, heat ,water....etc...etc.... Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to keep our mouths shut or face the devil woman, who all of sudden is now harder to satisfy than the little slugger ever was. And of course the devil now has decided that she can walk around looking like an overweight bride of frankenstein. Meanwhile the little brain is looking around for another warm hole, because, as it turns out, the little brain doesn't work well when the regular hole won't shut the hell up.

Next we realize that we have found a new freind. It's called "my chair." My chair is magic place where we can go to like an island in a storm....all we need is to utter the words.."honey, the game is on"

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and all of sudden the little lady realizes that that hole can be alot of fun to play with (no sh*t!) sorry, too little to late. Besides, the Secretary gives better head. Fact is that it's not that you're not interested in sticking the little slugger in holes anymore, just not that hole.

Fortunately that doesn't last long because...

Now the little devil hits the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. This is the part where the devil crawls into a little cocoon and comes out as godzilla. At this point even the magic chair is no longer a safe haven. A wise man will trade in his Lazy-boy for a Harley Davidson and have his mail delivered to a PO box. Good thing that in another couple of years protstate cancer will likely put an end to it all.

women get off so easy, while men just wonder if it would have just been smarter to have bought her a house and left her when he was still young and strong and not waited 30 years.

Now I love being a man but "manhood" surely made the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.

Women are the weaker sex!


-hehe, djw

WHICH ONLY GOES TO PROVE WHICH HEAD MAN REALLY THINKS WITH.

Cheri aka Medicine Woman

 

[DJW]

none of us are denying it Cheri.

 

[manny]

I did not write this nor do I necessarily espouse the concept but it has been asked...

" How can women be cranky, after all they have half the money and all the p*ssy in the world."

I am just quoting the question, don't kill me.

manny

 

[trooper113]

I did not write this nor do I necessarily espouse the concept but it has been asked...

" How can women be cranky, after all they have half the money and all the p*ssy in the world."

I am just quoting the question, don't kill me.

manny

Half the money???? Very low estimate.

 

[Carrie]

Re: Re: Why Women are Cranky

We start to notice that that this thing between our legs has a brain of it's own at 9 or 10 years old, only to find anything that comes in contact with the tender rod, makes the little thing stick up like a louiville slugger. Enter the little brain that makes the louiville slugger create a little tent in our pants at the very time we have to stand in front of the class and explain how the articles of confederation became the us constitution.

By the time we hit the mid-teens (or sooner) the little brain has seized complete control of the big brain. The little slugger now cannot be satified without being in a nice warm hole, and it is NEVER satisfied. Meanwhile the object our affection, namely the next warm hole, is so preoccupied with wanting to "just be freinds" that the little brain keeps telling the big brain " just tell her anything but get into that warm hole NOW!" Another stange thing is that all of sudden every guy you've known your whole life looks at you like a hyhena trying to steal the last piece of meat from the savannah.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as satisfing as box of twinkies. Sure it's great while your eating it, but the next thing you know is your saddled with 100 pounds of dead weight. As the little brain takes a few minutes rest, the big brain realizes that you've just made a life time commitment to the devil.

Then it's off to Fatherhood where we learn to work 80 hours a week to pay for a house, car, shoes, heat ,water....etc...etc.... Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to keep our mouths shut or face the devil woman, who all of sudden is now harder to satisfy than the little slugger ever was. And of course the devil now has decided that she can walk around looking like an overweight bride of frankenstein. Meanwhile the little brain is looking around for another warm hole, because, as it turns out, the little brain doesn't work well when the regular hole won't shut the hell up.

Next we realize that we have found a new freind. It's called "my chair." My chair is magic place where we can go to like an island in a storm....all we need is to utter the words.."honey, the game is on"

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and all of sudden the little lady realizes that that hole can be alot of fun to play with (no sh*t!) sorry, too little to late. Besides, the Secretary gives better head. Fact is that it's not that you're not interested in sticking the little slugger in holes anymore, just not that hole.

Fortunately that doesn't last long because...

Now the little devil hits the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. This is the part where the devil crawls into a little cocoon and comes out as godzilla. At this point even the magic chair is no longer a safe haven. A wise man will trade in his Lazy-boy for a Harley Davidson and have his mail delivered to a PO box. Good thing that in another couple of years protstate cancer will likely put an end to it all.

women get off so easy, while men just wonder if it would have just been smarter to have bought her a house and left her when he was still young and strong and not waited 30 years.

Now I love being a man but "manhood" surely made the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.

Women are the weaker sex!


-hehe, djw

Women are weak when it comes to physical strength (we don't deny that). But, mental strength is a whole other topic. You proved it by your little "essay." I sure hope you didn't take my topic serious, it was only to get a few laughs. Get it hehehe, hahaha

 

[Carrie]

I did not write this nor do I necessarily espouse the concept but it has been asked...

" How can women be cranky, after all they have half the money and all the p*ssy in the world."

I am just quoting the question, don't kill me.

manny

You know manny, you are absolutely right. We decide if, when, and where you get pleasure from our, what you call, p*ssy.

Half the money? What about all the money.

Hey, I understand, admitting a statement like that, would definitely send you to biker heaven.

 

[harleygirl64]

I am .....LMFAO.. !! Funny Stuff !! . what every one wrote!

 

[harleygirl64]

Re: Re: Why Women are Cranky

We learn to keep our mouths shut or face the "devil woman".... !!!

Oh no, not "Devil Woman"....!! I have been recently called this !!! ..................'')
.

 

[deb93fxlr]

Diane...why the change in avatars?

 

[DJW]

deb, of course i knew you were joking, i just thought a couple of laughs from the otherside would as funny.

HG, devil women don't climb trees on ludes!