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Discussion Starter #121
I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day.
I knew it would come back to haunt me.
 

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Discussion Starter #122
A nun gets into a cab and notices that the driver can't stop staring at her.

So she asks him why is he staring and he answers, "I have a question I need to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

The nun replies, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you have had a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

The cab driver hesitates for a moment and then says, "Well it's like this; I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me."

The nun replies, "Ok well, let's see what we can do about that, shall we. There are two conditions though - firstly you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, yes! I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun then says, "Ok then, pull into the next alley."

The cab driver does so and the nun duly goes ahead and fulfills his fantasy. They get back on the road and start driving again, but the cab driver soon starts to cry.

The nun sees this and asks him, "My dear child, pray tell, why are you crying?"

The cab driver says, "You must forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied to you - I must confess that I'm married and I'm also Jewish."

The nun laughs and says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
 

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Discussion Starter #123
I
just popped over to my Grandma's, and you've got to hand it to her. At 96, she had all the Halloween decorations up, cobwebs and insects in the windows and a skeleton on the couch.
She always makes a big effort, but there was no answer... I'll pop back next year.
 

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Discussion Starter #124
Me and my girlfriend were going to a Halloween party last year and my girlfriend came down the stairs wearing nothing but boots.
I asked her "What are you suppose to be?"
She said, "Puss in boots."
So I went into the kitchen and put a potato on my penis. When I came back out, she asked me, "What are you suppose to be?"
I said, "If you can be puss in boots, then I can be a dictator..."
 

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Discussion Starter #125
Halloween is easily the scariest night of the year, what with the dead rising from their graves...
and fat girls thinking they look sexy dressed as cats.
 

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So a guy is at an old school dance... He is very self conscious because he had lost an eye years ago and could only afford a wooden one... He notices a lass in the back row with a hairlip and he thinks she might dance with him..
He walks over an asks her if she would like to dance.. All excited that someone has asked her to dance she says " Would I, would I".... He looks at her and says " Hairlip, Hairlip".......
 

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Discussion Starter #127
A Dung Beetle walks into a bar and ask's

"Is this stool taken"?
 

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A bird story:

Two men are standing at the top of a cliff. One has two budgies, one on each shoulder. The other has a parrot and a shotgun.

The first guy jumps off the cliff and on the way down the birds fly away. He crashes on the rocks below and rolls over on his back. He looks up just in time to see his friend jump off too.

As the second guy falls the & parrot flies off, he pulls up his shotgun and shoots the bird just before he too crashes onto the rocks.

They lie there groaning in agony for a bit before the first guy says, "I really don't see what is supposed to be so great about budgie jumping!"

The second guy lets out a groan and says, "I'm really not too impressed with free fall parrot shooting either!"
 

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The Best Me I Can Be
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A bird story:

Two men are standing at the top of a cliff. One has two budgies, one on each shoulder. The other has a parrot and a shotgun.

The first guy jumps off the cliff and on the way down the birds fly away. He crashes on the rocks below and rolls over on his back. He looks up just in time to see his friend jump off too.

As the second guy falls the & parrot flies off, he pulls up his shotgun and shoots the bird just before he too crashes onto the rocks.

They lie there groaning in agony for a bit before the first guy says, "I really don't see what is supposed to be so great about budgie jumping!"

The second guy lets out a groan and says, "I'm really not too impressed with free fall parrot shooting either!"
LOL In the immortal words of Val 'Doc' Kilmer... ""Ah, two fellow sophisticates".

joe
 

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What is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Sent from my moto g(7) supra using Tapatalk
 

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Discussion Starter #133
Two Blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking

and one Blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the Moon???"

The other Blonde turns and says "Hellooooooooooo, can you see Florida????"
 

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Officer: Sir we have come to your house, because we had a report of a loud exhaust pipe on a motorcycle.

Biker: Well you have come to the wrong house, because my bike doesn't have an exhaust pipe.

Sent from my moto g(7) supra using Tapatalk
 

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Officer: Sir we have come to your house, because we had a report of a loud exhaust pipe on a motorcycle.

Biker: Well you have come to the wrong house, because my bike doesn't have an exhaust pipe.

Sent from my moto g(7) supra using Tapatalk
A group I was riding with many years ago for pulled over. The officer made a remark about one of the bikes having straight pipes. One of the riders walked over and pointed out "They're not straight. There's a bend there, and there...."

Sent from my SM-A102U using Tapatalk
 
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