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Ladies this is my Ice Breaker !!!! LMAO :D

Protocol for Showering

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note--must do more sit-ups.

4. Use toilet.

5. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

6. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

7. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

8. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.

10. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

11. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

12. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

13. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you get scalded.

14. Turn off shower.

15. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

16. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

17. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.

18. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

19. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed are and then sashay to bedroom.

20. Spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

9. Realize that you didn't use the toilet before entering the shower, so pee into the drain.

10. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

11. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

12. Wash your butt.

13. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

14. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

15. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.

17. Partially dry off.

18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.

19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.

21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo"sound again.

22. Throw wet towel on the bed.

23. Take 2 minutes to get dressed in the same clothes that you had on before the shower.

Good Night Gang

Littlebit :p
 

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littlebit870 said:



2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.


9. Realize that you didn't use the toilet before entering the shower, so pee into the drain.

10. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

11. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.


18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.


21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo"sound again.

u been spying on me ? :D
 

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Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
Hey Misguided! Your OL let me sneak a camera in !!! Now all ya have to do is find that sucker! Ok be honest how many ladies do you know that flash the OM and say woo woo!! Oh yea !!!! I will admit that I flashed my boobs and mooned my OM one day when he was mowing our huge 2 acre yard. I am so short I had to stand on the back of our couch in the den . There was a little zig zagging in the cut lawn pattern that day for sure. Ok I also have to admit that for the past six years since we got married I walk him to the door each day. Give him a big kiss and I flash my bare butt at him as he starts down the driveway, if I don't he thinks I am pissed at him. My 35 year old daughter thinks I am so bad!!!!!:D

Hey Mustang!!! Do you WOO WOO TO ?????? OK all you bad boys answer this. How many of you WOO WOO the wife???????

Littlebit870 (now ya know the reason for my avatar he he:p
 

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Traveling Man
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Hey guys, what are you dudes doing in here? You know that just the thought of all us good lookin leather clad bikers being in here is making them hot. LOL Give um a break here before they pass out from heat exhaustion. We'd hate to lose um now!

Ah HAHA! . Is it getting warm in here or is it just me?
 

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FifthGear said:
Hey guys, what are you dudes doing in here? You know that just the thought of all us good lookin leather clad bikers being in here is making them hot. LOL Give um a break here before they pass out from heat exhaustion. We'd hate to lose um now!

Ah HAHA! . Is it getting warm in here or is it just me?
hey 5th gear it could be both.

Happy merf day

jb
 

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littlebit870 said:
OK all you bad boys answer this. How many of you WOO WOO the wife???????
Sorry, not me. I have nothing to brag about:D
 

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I woowoo every chance I get. Don't matter who it is or if my Bride is there or not. (Best part of getting old! Everybody just thinks you're a pervert LOL) Something to brag about? Hell no, but I'm kinda proud of the little fella. Lookin' for T-shirt: Hung like a Hampster!;)
 

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fourhour said:
Best part of getting old! Everybody just thinks you're a pervert LOL

I know and enjoy the feeling!:D
 

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Hey Deb....

My guess is that they (fellas) are trying to figure out :
1. How to turn on the shower thing
2. Why they call that spout the shower HEAD
3. If WOO WOO will work when she has her clothes on
4. Exactly where backsplash at the Texaco bathroom fits in the protocol
 
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