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Ladies,
I know this board aint the Oprah show and all, but I'm guessing this is the best place to ask for a little guidance on how to approach an issue with my better-half. I need a female perspective on this one and figured you'd be able to give some actual good advice.....
My wife and I have been married for nearly six years now and I can't imagine what my life would be like without her; I am blessed. One of our strengths is our ability to discuss anything, and I know posting this here may seem to be a contradiction, but I am stumped on how to bring this up without it being taken the wrong way.
The problem is with my wife's weight. Now before I get completely flame-sprayed :flames: , let me explain! She is a beautiful woman, but has put on a great deal of weight since we were married- about 100 Lbs. Her appearance is not really the issue; it's her health I'm concerned with. She has developed constant pain in her feet, ankles, knees, back and now is constantly tired and has trouble sleeping. She's in her 40's and has a family history of cancer and diabetes and I'm getting worried. The docs say there is nothing physically wrong with her (thyroid, metabolism act), just that she needs to loose weight. We have tried the diet things, but the portions get progressively larger so the only real loss was in our check-book. When I try be diplomatic and suggest her dinner portion size may be a little excessive or that a late-night snack may not be a great idea, she get pissed and sulks (and gets the grub anyway). She has even investigated the stomach stapling deal, but that scares the crap out of me (and her) since it is so extreme and has big risks. She is active- in fact seems to be constantly motion. She's a stay at home mom and really is amazing; she runs a "tight ship", even doing lawn work and is a hellava carpenter and handy man! All of our friends and I are amazed at all she does in a single day and still keeps carrying as much weight as she does. She is definitely not sitting on her butt eating junk and watching TV!
I will admit, if I said I didn't have my own personal motives, I'd be lying. She knows she's carrying too much weight and it has taken a toll on our "personal" life as well. I'm no head-shrink, but it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure out she is probably not interested in fooling around if she doesn't feel attractive. Yea, I'm a horn-dog and would kill to get to daily, so anything to improve from once a quarter would be a welcome change! ?prty: I digress.....
My dilemma is how do I approach this? I have been accused of being honest to a fault and being way too point-blank with my approach. In this situation though, I'm not trying to pick a fight or point out the obvious. I'm trying to get her healthy physically and, in turn improve her self image, but no matter how I play this one in my head I see disaster in the making :spank: . I am thinking the "band-aid" approach- just vent the whole thing at one time. I think she is going to be pissed at me regardless so get it all out there and get the beating over with! Or do I just let this sleeping dog alone:265:
I can't tell you ladies how much I love her- which is why this has been really driving me nuts. I'd really like some advice with this one :dunno: . Yea, I'm generally a huge smart-arse but this is sincere so please try keep any wize-arse comments to a minimum. :thanks:
Allen
I know this board aint the Oprah show and all, but I'm guessing this is the best place to ask for a little guidance on how to approach an issue with my better-half. I need a female perspective on this one and figured you'd be able to give some actual good advice.....
My wife and I have been married for nearly six years now and I can't imagine what my life would be like without her; I am blessed. One of our strengths is our ability to discuss anything, and I know posting this here may seem to be a contradiction, but I am stumped on how to bring this up without it being taken the wrong way.
The problem is with my wife's weight. Now before I get completely flame-sprayed :flames: , let me explain! She is a beautiful woman, but has put on a great deal of weight since we were married- about 100 Lbs. Her appearance is not really the issue; it's her health I'm concerned with. She has developed constant pain in her feet, ankles, knees, back and now is constantly tired and has trouble sleeping. She's in her 40's and has a family history of cancer and diabetes and I'm getting worried. The docs say there is nothing physically wrong with her (thyroid, metabolism act), just that she needs to loose weight. We have tried the diet things, but the portions get progressively larger so the only real loss was in our check-book. When I try be diplomatic and suggest her dinner portion size may be a little excessive or that a late-night snack may not be a great idea, she get pissed and sulks (and gets the grub anyway). She has even investigated the stomach stapling deal, but that scares the crap out of me (and her) since it is so extreme and has big risks. She is active- in fact seems to be constantly motion. She's a stay at home mom and really is amazing; she runs a "tight ship", even doing lawn work and is a hellava carpenter and handy man! All of our friends and I are amazed at all she does in a single day and still keeps carrying as much weight as she does. She is definitely not sitting on her butt eating junk and watching TV!
I will admit, if I said I didn't have my own personal motives, I'd be lying. She knows she's carrying too much weight and it has taken a toll on our "personal" life as well. I'm no head-shrink, but it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure out she is probably not interested in fooling around if she doesn't feel attractive. Yea, I'm a horn-dog and would kill to get to daily, so anything to improve from once a quarter would be a welcome change! ?prty: I digress.....
My dilemma is how do I approach this? I have been accused of being honest to a fault and being way too point-blank with my approach. In this situation though, I'm not trying to pick a fight or point out the obvious. I'm trying to get her healthy physically and, in turn improve her self image, but no matter how I play this one in my head I see disaster in the making :spank: . I am thinking the "band-aid" approach- just vent the whole thing at one time. I think she is going to be pissed at me regardless so get it all out there and get the beating over with! Or do I just let this sleeping dog alone:265:
I can't tell you ladies how much I love her- which is why this has been really driving me nuts. I'd really like some advice with this one :dunno: . Yea, I'm generally a huge smart-arse but this is sincere so please try keep any wize-arse comments to a minimum. :thanks:
Allen