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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
FAIRY TALE FOR WOMEN OF THE 21st CENTURY
>
> ONCE UPON A TIME
> ~~~~~~~~
> in a land far away,
> ~~~~~~~~
> a beautiful, independent,
> ~~~~~~~~
> self-assured princess
> ~~~~~~~~
> happened upon a frog as she sat,
> ~~~~~~~~
> contemplating ecological issues
> ~~~~~~~~
> on the shores of an unpolluted pond
> ~~~~~~~~
> in a verdant meadow near her castle.
> ~~~~~~~~
> The frog hopped into the princess' lap
> ~~~~~~~~
> and said: Elegant Lady,
> ~~~~~~~~
> I was once a handsome prince,
> ~~~~~~~~
> until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
> ~~~~~~~~
> One kiss from you, however,
> ~~~~~~~~
> and I will turn back
> ~~~~~~~~
> into the dapper, young prince that I am
> ~~~~~~~~
> and then, my sweet, we can marry
> ~~~~~~~~
> and setup housekeeping in your castle
> ~~~~~~~~
> with my mother,
> ~~~~~~~~
> where you can prepare my meals,
> ~~~~~~~~
> clean my clothes, bear my children,
> ~~~~~~~~
> and forever
> ~~~~~~~~
> feel grateful and happy doing so.
> ~~~~~~~~
> That night,
> ~~~~~~~~
> as the princess dined sumptuously
> ~~~~~~~~
> on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs
> ~~~~~~~~
> seasoned in a white wine
> ~~~~~~~
> and onion cream sauce,
> ~~~~~~~~
> she chuckled and thought to herself:
> ~~~~~~~~
>
> I don't fucking think so.
 

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Traveling Man
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1,272 Posts
Here's one for you Ladies.

A husband and wife went out to eat in a fancy restuarant. They were seated at a table when the following took place:
Wife: isn't that Joe over there with those two women?
husband: Yes it is
Wife: Neither one is his wife and they keep looking over here. Who are they?
husband: Well, the one on the right is his mistress
Wife: Why that sorry son-of-a-*****!. Who is the other one?
husband: well, that's my mistress
Wife: You sorry SOB, I have stayed married to you all these years and this is what I get? I want a divorse!
husband: Look at what you have with me. You have a mansion to live in with servants to do the work. You have all the clothes and jewelry that you have ever wanted. You go on vacations around the world as often as you like. You have every thing that money can buy and a husband who has treated you like a queen. You have never had to work a day since i married you. Now you act like you want to give all of this up! What do you say about that?
Wife: I think our mistress looks prettier than Joe's
 

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Still Serving...U.S. Army
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What?!? No more replies? I would thunk FifthGears' little story would get a...um...er.."rise" outta someone.

Funny though.
 

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targetman.. you mean like...
Wife: I think our mistress looks prettier than Joe's.... Now drink up that nice glass of arsenic and cyanide I made for you, Darling.
 

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Still Serving...U.S. Army
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Well...that's a start
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Solution

How bout this then?


A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With super-human strength borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs,

out the back door, and into the tool shed in the backyard and put his penis in a vice.

She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw.

The husband was terrified, and screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to

cut it off, are you?" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in

her husband's hand and said, "Nope. I'm going to set the shed on fire.

You do whatever you have to".

:eek: :D
 

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Road Captain
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Back off guys, HarleyHottie might give back the handle!:eek:
 

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Good Lord girl! Point taken. Yeesh.

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in
the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers."
He calls the number, and the gorilla remover
says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder,
a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do", the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this
ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the
gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat.
When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles
and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put
him in the cage in the back of the van."


He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?"
asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"
 

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Road Captain
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:eek:
 

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Road Captain
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:mad: No $HIT!!! That really bring back bad memories, my Dad was there when this bit(h went on her lil tour.
 

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Isn't this true

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with **** like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"
 
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