[tadams6580]

I work with a bunch of young guys that ride bikes that look like they are made by Fisher-Price. We have had some good-natured (sometimes)ribbing about our dislike of each others brand of bikes.
I need some new "ammo", insults, put-downs!
I've already used "I didn't buy a HD to go quick, I bought it to go LONG"
and "Did your bike come with a clown hat?"

 

[JoeJitsu]

...here we go...

Can't imagine the amount of flames this thread will generate, but what the hell, it's all in good fun.

Here ya go:

*** bikes are like tampons, every pu$$y has one.


that should get things going nicely.

Peace
-JJ

 

[tadams6580]

Good one JoeJitsu!

By the way....I want to mention that these are friends, coworkers here and that we take pride in slamming each other about everything! Cars, girlfriends, hair-cuts! Not just bikes.
I would never "slam" any rider because of brand. Only for fun.

 

[HIPPO]

The one thing that will end it for good is if you tell them "yeah, you are right, my bike is a piece of $hit" while laughing all the way.

 

[James]

I could use help here also. I bought a 883 Sportster and all the guys I work with are saying they are going to buy me some pink chaps!

It's so damn funny I can't even help but laugh when they say it. I do need some quick comebacks. And they don't even own a bike....the nerve, the nerve!

 

[fourhour]

Yeah, I get this crap about the ugly purple (Can we say, "fucsia") color on mine. And some other smartass the other day said, "Oh, a girls bike?" But I just end it with, "Hey, Where's yours?" Sorry I was'nt any help to you on this thread, I just had to tell my story.

 

[Sidewalk]

I have you all beat when it comes to ugly colors, look at my car

No, I didn't paint it, and I don't plan to any time soon. So much fun to whoop someone with this color of a car.

 

[supersport]

Re: Comebacks...

Try this,

Yea, opinions are like a$$holes... some just ride rice!

 

[Maj]

If they ride the crotch rocket-style bikes ask'em why they would want to ride a bike that makes you look like you're humpin' a watermellon.

 

[Malfunction]

Smartass comebacks

To the ones refering to a Sportster as a 'girl's bike.'

1. My wife said I had too much between my legs already, and a bigger bike wouldn't fit me!
2. Wanna race? You'll be seeing the taillight of a 'girl's bike!"

To the ones riding those crotch rockets.

1. Let's go to a bar and see who gets a good lookin woman wanting a ride first.

2. Mine's a '93 XL1200, show me a plastic crotch rocket, or anything ***, that's worth more.

Can't think of any more right now, but when I do, I'll get back to ya.

 

[sned]

Four Hour, Has anyone referred to your purple scoot as a "pimp bike" or "pimpscoot"? I like the purple Deuce's, but that's what I refer to them as.

I have a tire-fly on the front, so I refer to mine as the pimpscoot sometimes.

Oh, and the "humpin' a watermelon" thing? I always thought they look like they are hoping for a rear-ender. You ever notice when they ride in groups that they ride a little TOO close?

 

[MPZ]

How about,"If it LOOKS like a sewing machine and SOUNDS like a sewing machine.........." Or, "My Mom's Singer looks just like your Kaw but it has a deeper sound and you can actually sew with it." Or, "The fact that the japs can put wheels on a sewing machine and get it to go 180 mph is a marvelous technological feat, but that doesn't make it a motorcycle. By the way, how does it do on buttons?" You get the drift. Oh yeah, "I wouldn't ride a bike that makes me look like a monkey f\/<king a football!"

 

[Sidewalk]

Hell, half of these damn slams are against me too

 

[logical]

I stole this from somebody, probably here and forget exactly how it goes but........... "I could wrap my Fat Boy around a tree and part it out for enough to buy a new one...try that with a Kawasaki"

 

[JFScheck]

This is great, I'm writting all this down...

How about any BMW slams, as my two (excellent friends) have BMW touring bikes, anything about that silly engine would be great....

 

[HarleyJoel]

Tell them "Sorry, I don't have any two-cycle engine oil for your moped". or ... "Hey, someone parked a moped out front".

 

[tadams6580]

JFScheck,
I'd be careful about BMW slams! Most of those guys are about ready to snap!

 

[JFScheck]

Must be those "boxer" engines that makes them ready to snap

 

[tadams6580]

Thanks for all the tips, but I think I shut my metric-riding friends up by accident!
I was getting off my bike when a coworker just pulled in on his 600 Yamaha. As usual, he starts in some lame insults, and mentions even his speedometer goes to 140 mph. So I go over to take a look and noticed his odometer reads only 4,300 miles....and he has had this bike for over 5 years.
"4,300 MILES...FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!", that's all I had to say!
Priceless.

 

[electrified]

you just tell em...i ride my Harley like i ride my women.SLOW,LONG AND HARD!! not like "you guys"...too fast in/out..in/out...ride over.....

but i do have ta give em credit for always being prepared by wearing those colorful condomes they call riding gear..

as for the BMW guys...ask them how they can see the road with their noses up in the air like that....