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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Just thought I would post this and will load some pics of my progress later. I saw a photo of a pull behind MC trailer made out of a whiskey barrel and said cool.....I can do that. I mean I did have a semester of shop class in high school. Well I did a lot of research (guessed mainly) on things I would need for this fast, simple, and easy project (or so I thought). :coffee: I bought a Northern Freight 40x48 12" tire trailer kit with molded fenders. Bought some cool Maltese cross tail lights, mig welder, chop saw, angle grinder, palm sander, belt sander, tools, paint, wood stain, etc.. etc... etc........on and on and on, oh and got the wife a refill of Prozac (later to prove to be my only wise purchase).

So trailer gets here, I lay it out and measure it, then chop it down 9" for a total trailer width of 33" (ok, one corner is 33" and the other is 32 7/16", thats close enough) with my new easy to use chop saw....I knew I should of bought those safety glasses. :whatever: Well after my ER visit to remove metal from my eye I proceeded to weld it together with my new mig welder (the welder instructions said it was easy). Well after I put the fire out (who knew my flannel shirt was combustable) I proceeded to finish making some butt ugly welds.....thank god I bought a angle grinder (man that thing is loud at 1 am on a Tues night, or so the neighbors called and said, this is where the wife's prozac refill is starting to really pay off):wootdnc: . So I get that done and painted the frame (the OL really pissed about the black paint outline of the trailer frame on the new drive way concrete, I think I can get a sand blaster and take care of that easy). So I put the axle on, but its too long now, ok thats an easy fix with my new chop saw and easy to use welder (discovered it really is important to get the ends mated up right or the axle will not be straight). So after using my angle grinder, chop saw, and welder several times, its close to straight (forgive my typing but its hard with 1st and 2nd degree burns on your fingers). So the axle is mounted and tires are on. Time to put the 3/4" decking on the trailer. Well I rip a sheet in half with my skill saw and then get my table saw out and rip it to 33" .....this is where getting the trailer frame square to start is important. So after a little trimming of the wood while its on and the frame and changing the saw blade a couple of times (hitting the metal frame really screws up the teeth). I am ready to put put the red oak veneer on top, so I repeat the saw blade replacement process and add glue and clamps and wa law, its ready to bolt to the frame. Just need to drill some holes. So drill some holes and mount the decking. Damn.....its not straight. Well my saw and several blades can fix that.:clap: Ok time to paint the plastic molded fenders.......damn paint won't stay on. I know, I will rhino line it. Damn....it won't stay on either. Ok, I know, I'll put the metal fenders on that came with the kit. Just got to paint them and drill some holes to mount them. (this is where using a level really comes in handy, I wish I would of bought one). So fenders on. Time to stain the oak deck. (OL pissed again because of the wood stain I got all over the garage floor, freezer, wall. and the side of her new Durango). How did I know using my compressor spray gun would have such over spray.

Ok.....now it time to cut my Whiskey barrel. The one I bought off of ebay in the photo looked in perfect shape with the barrel end caps absolutely straight, only 3 yrs old. Well the one I got was was marked Union Army 1863 and the ends warped badly. Seller said I could return itand he would refund my purchase price less shipping. The barrel was $35, shipping was $75. lets see....uh, no. Little bastard deserves neg feedback except he would leave neg for me. :finger: Thats ok I can fix that after I cut it open length wise. Should be nothing to it. But first I will sand the barrel down....500 sanding pads later (aged old oak is really hard) the barrel looks like its only 80 years old instead of of 150. Time to cut. So just measure my cut line and I'll cut the wood part first then the metal bands. So let the cutting begin. After prying the saw blade out a couple of times from the wood because of barrel pressure on the blade and changing to new blades after hitting the metal bands the wood is cut. Time to cut the metal bands....so let the cutting begin (Man those bands make a loud "POP" when cut, how did I know that once you cut the metal bands it would fall apart) :dunno: Thank god I have clamps and glue. ok it back to looking like barrels halves now. I scrape the charcoal out and there is a lot of it (OL pissed again, I didn't know I got it all over my boots when I came in and tracked it all over her white carpet in the living room) Ok....time to spray rhino lining inside the barrel, but do it outside the garage so not to get any on the floor. Kind of windy so i just drag it around the side of house to act as a wind break. ( OL pissed again, look when I sand blast the driveway I will sand blast the rock on the side of the house also. Easy fix.....it was really windy so not my fault) ok those warped barrel ends are really starting to piss me off now....ends just will not come together and mate up right. I know I will brace the ends with some oak strips, clamps, glue, screws and pull it together to get it close then use my belt sander to to make it look straight (this is where pre-drilling holes for the screws would have come in handy, aged white oak is hard, next time i'll do that). :whatever:

So after 5 days thats where I am today. Time to get busy, I will keep you posted. I will however suggest to the OL to take a double dose of Prozac today. She's been really irritable lately. (Hey once the barrel is done.....I'm going to wire my bike for the trailer....the instructions says its easy)

(obviously this is in jest, but it feels like it has been a disaster, actually looking good..sort of ):roflback:
 

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Great story had me in stiches.
If I was your neighbor I'd build bleachers and sell tickets.

We all must have days when everthing you touch turns to ****.
 

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The Best Me I Can Be
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eglide1 said:
Great story had me in stiches.
If I was your neighbor I'd build bleachers and sell tickets.

We all must have days when everthing you touch turns to ****.
Best thing I've read in a while. Damn funny.
Uh, who'd you say was going to build the bleachers?

Joe
 

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Maybe you can get on TV. Partner up with OCC perhaps. Can't wait to see the finished product.
 

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Road Captain
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:roflback: ....hurry up with the next installment! :corn:
 

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Read like a modern day epic story. Maybe Harleywood will be calling for the movie rights. Very funny... when is the next installment?
V/R
Chris
 

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Just Like to Ride
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eglide1 said:
Great story had me in stiches.
If I was your neighbor I'd build bleachers and sell tickets.
Ain't that the truth.

Kind of reminds me of the episode of "Married With Children" where Al was messing with antenna on top of house.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 · (Edited)
Next Chapter Later Tonight with PHOTOS!!!

Got it finshed sort of but the damn thing tipped backwards and broke my custom tails lights off (walmart clearance isle....wonder if they will take them back?)......oh well doesn't really matter ( like I was really going to wire them up anyway). I mean who rides at night....not me, not since i came home drunk and got confused and tried to ride my OL's sister.....OL was pissed (not sure if its because I did it or her sister let me....honest mistake...it was dark but I guess when i didn't feel that wooley mammoth type leg hair it should have been a clue).

Complete details tonight, OL pissed right now , she got a flat today and I have to go fix it......just pulled a screw out of her tire (was wondering where that screw went).
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Photos Now...Story later

Ok heres some pics
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
More

More Photos of the nightmare engineering project I know NASA doesn't have this kind of trouble (hummmm wonder if they have any openings).
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
and more photos......
 

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Just Like to Ride
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Holy crap!!! I thought he was joshing us with the story.
 

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A word of caution...

...yeah, I know, too late...

However, if a tinseltown producer approaches you with an offer to DO your story, ya might wanna specify that the title can't be anything like "Brokebarrel Mountain", or the theme for that matter. Of course, Kansas isn't famous for it's mountains, so maybe that won't happen. :xhere:
 

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You got way too many cool things going on in those pics. From the john deer mailbox, to the camaro, to the bike, to the trailer, and a peek of the rear of another bike.......J/k...looking good bro. I just made a ground up trailer myself with a retro theme to it..
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 · (Edited)
Ok....here we go

Ok when I left you last I was just getting the ends back together. Well I get up early go out to the garage and open the garage door and wouldn't you know it......raining. Figures....oh well easy fix. So I pull the OL's Durango out into the driveway and start arranging things to work(basically pushing all the OL's crap over to one side). I put the 2 halves together and have a look....of course the edges don't mate up, over bite on one side and under bite on the other. (like my last two girlfriends, well one wasn't her fault that they made her dentures crooked). So I also look at how the surfaces are making contact so I can get a good seal....man, enough daylight between'em to get a good tan. This just sux. Ok....easy fix....I have a new belt sander I just bought the night before for just this type of emergency(got it on sale for $20, got ripped off too). So I take the halves apart and start lapping the edges to even them out. Man is it raining hard out there. So I take a little off here and there and put the halves back together and have a look. Damn it its worse now ( this is where when working with halves you keep them flipped right so you are not belt sanding the oposite ends) i know.... to figure out where the high points are I will put a thin line of snap cord chaulk all the way around the barrel edge and then put the barrel together and where ever the chaulk is smashed down I will belt sand there to knock the high places down (not one of my better ideas in hind site, blue chaulk gets into everything when compressed air is used to blow it off a project). Right about now the OL's comes out and askes why her car is out in the driveway.Well duhhh...I need to work in the garage, she says..... did you put the windows up on the passenger side? I looked her right in the eye and lied through my teeth and said ...of course I did (never knew they were down and for the record I would have got away with it if wasn't for the kids going to walmart with her and complaining the seat was soaked). So I told her to take my truck.....and since your going I need some deisel in it (she should know that if you stick that middle finger up like that it will greatly reduce her chances of getting lucky later). So she drives off ( I hate it when she revs the motor like that). So back to work....but first a beer and think about this a little. So 4 beers later and this barrel just is not getting done. Never knew we painted the garage walls baby blue....thought it was amond (OL later pointed it out to me also....like I knew that snap line chaulk was going to do that) So back to belt sanding (gone through 4 belts aready) and the stupid belt sander starts smoking....and all the power goes off in the garage. Well must have tripped the circuit so I lay the sander down and go reset the breaker, tripping on the belt sander cord as I go (nothing to do with the 4 beers I had). I come back and holy crap (an understatement) that belt sander housing was doing more than smoking and when I tripped on the cord I must have pulled it into the little trash pile i made from working, the flames are licking up the side of my mother-in-law's boxes of clothes she gave to my OL ( like we wanted them....figure if the Salvation Army wouldn't take them then why the hell would we want them....I mean I've seen burlap bags that look better on people than some of goddy trash she buys. She must have to go to a special store called Trolls-R-Us that sells only to trolls living in caves ) so I go to trying to beat out the flames with a towel I had out there (this is where not using a towel that has been used for wiping up wood stain is important because of the petroleum products in stain....what do i look like, a chemist...how did I know. Also as a foot note, fire exstinguishers...... if you have hot beer like a six pack thats been sitting in the garage and you want to get them real cold real fast use a fire exstinguisher on them. Only problem is it takes most of the charge thats in the exstinguisher to do it and there will be little to nothing left in case you have a fire......hey now I know, lesson learned....I'll get 2 next time ) so now the towels on fire and to make matters worse the OL drives up ( oh I can hear it now....no really.... she yelling a fire or something....I'm like, you think) She says pour the beer on it (like I'm going to do that) so I grab a blanket out of a box and beat it out. (OL's pissed, something about her great grandmother's hand made quilt or something) So the lesson learned here is those chinese just don't make belt sanders like they use to. But hey the neighbors got a Craftsman belt sander....hummmm. Lucky he's not home so I ask his wife....she's like sure. (Nice lady except for her over bite, dentist didn't make her dentures right, so its not her fault). So back in business. So sanding away till I finally get the edges sort of flat and they kind of of set flush....except for the over and under bite. Also do you have any idea just how much fine wood dust one of these things generates? Well its a lot.....and it gets on everything (its a good idea to wear a mask....wish I had one, also a good idea to wear safety glasses too, the OL's sunglasses worked just fine, I'm pretty sure those fine scratches on the lens will come out). So now I strap the barrel together with rachet straps and turn it up on end to start sanding the ends to where they will look even. So 20 belts later....it looks good. Aged oak is hard stuff. Now to take care of that over and under bite on the long outside edges of the barrel but there is no way I am belt sanding any more this century. So its an easy fix....remember that angle grinder.....man does that thing chew through wood with a 50 grit pad on it. It my new best friend. (OL's not talking to me....uuuh her not talking to me, is that like punishment? note to self...its ok to think that but do not say that....there goes that middle finger again)

The angle grinder worked so well, the wood I used it on really lightened up in color......hey why not do the whole barrel. This actually goes off with out a hitch (but I can feel doom hovering close by though). Ok its time to put the rear hinges on so you put the halves together again (at 60lbs a half this gets old quick)

ok have to leave it there .....more later.
 

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Too funny Dave, keep em coming, you may end up on the internet with your own site like this guy ******* Neighbor although it is a bit old now....... thanks, John
 

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How in the hell did I miss this one! LMAO!!
 
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