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After a year and a half of being sober,I went on a couple of runs.Decided to drink on both of them.On the way home from the second one,looked up an old flame from 40 years in my past.We hit it off real well.Thought this was still the love of my life.Long story short,left my wife of 35 years,quit my job,moved 400 miles to her place only to find,opps,I ****ed up.Moved back to town,staying with friends,deeply depressed,trying to stop the drinking with limited success.I will have my old job back once I can get out of this depression.But its looking like I will never get my wife or house back.
Word to the wize,once you get sober,STAY THERE!!!!! Russ
 

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When out on a ride, keep it in your pants.
 

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Wicked!
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madmech said:
After a year and a half of being sober,I went on a couple of runs.Decided to drink on both of them.On the way home from the second one,looked up an old flame from 40 years in my past.We hit it off real well.Thought this was still the love of my life.Long story short,left my wife of 35 years,quit my job,moved 400 miles to her place only to find,opps,I ****ed up.Moved back to town,staying with friends,deeply depressed,trying to stop the drinking with limited success.I will have my old job back once I can get out of this depression.But its looking like I will never get my wife or house back.
Word to the wize,once you get sober,STAY THERE!!!!! Russ
Hey Russ, can't say I blame your wife, but at least you can admit the culprit. Hang in there....
 

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EASY DOES IT
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madmech said:
After a year and a half of being sober,I went on a couple of runs.Decided to drink on both of them.On the way home from the second one,looked up an old flame from 40 years in my past.We hit it off real well.Thought this was still the love of my life.Long story short,left my wife of 35 years,quit my job,moved 400 miles to her place only to find,opps,I ****ed up.Moved back to town,staying with friends,deeply depressed,trying to stop the drinking with limited success.I will have my old job back once I can get out of this depression.But its looking like I will never get my wife or house back.
Word to the wize,once you get sober,STAY THERE!!!!! Russ
Not to sound cold about your woes because it seems you are now paying the price for your actions...but...if you continue drinking this isn't half as low as it will/can get...

Thanks for your contribution...it's a reminder to us all...
 

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Sounds like a great country song. What did you really expect?
Are you blaming your actions on alcohol, or just bad choices?
What are looking for other than to vent from this forum?
You made your bed, and unfortunately you have to ly in it.
 

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Bon temps rouler!
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Hey Russ:

Thanks for sharing that part of your story, I certainly appreciate it. Stories such as yours have helped to keep me clean and sober for the past 17 years. Thanks for helping me remember what it was like.

What you said also helps me realize the power of one drink and how it can snuff out all reason.

Don't drink, do 90 and 90, get a sponsor, work the steps and I guarantee your life will get better.

Thanks,

Mike
 

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Did you move 400 miles away and just leave your wife hanging?...money wise? 35 years is not just a marriage, it's a full-time partnership. Alcohol and a hard di*k will sure get people in trouble although a lot of this situation was followed through while sober...I suppose. What does your wife say? How long has it been? Have you supported her while you have been with your old girlfriend?
Find a good meeting and work it.....if you did it for a year and a half you can pick up and do it again...only permanently. Sounds like you have some soul-searching and some crawling to do if you love your wife......just depends if she is willing to even talk to you. Good luck and let us know how it's going.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Not looking for sympethy,I know how bad I screwed up.Not a rant either.Just passing on info about what resuming drinking can do.Didn't leave her homeless and still helping with the bills,but I lost everything.And she'll never take me back!!!!
 

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The disease of Alcoholism

The power of the disease of Alcoholism should not be taken lightly, if left unchecked it will make our lives a living hell. The mission of the disease is wanting you to drink above all else, so to accomplish this and for you to drink again, what if leaving your wife was to hard to do without an excuse, when I was still actively drinking and I wanted to do something that I didn't have the guts to do I drank alcohol, and it gave me the courage to do what I wanted to do even if I knew it was not right, but more importantly it also gave me an excuse for my actions that I didn't want to be responsible for, because it wasn't my fault, it was the alcohol's. Just like picking up that first drink, I had planned it a long time before I did it. The disease was at work and I did nothing about it.
 

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madmech said:
Not looking for sympethy,I know how bad I screwed up.Not a rant either.Just passing on info about what resuming drinking can do.Didn't leave her homeless and still helping with the bills,but I lost everything.And she'll never take me back!!!!
You might be suprised what a woman will or won't do. If she put up with a drunk for 30+ years, there must be something there. If the woman you left her for wasn't her sister, mother or daughter, I would say that you have a good chance of getting back together, IF you are working a sobriety program.
 

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madmech said:
Not looking for sympethy,I know how bad I screwed up.Not a rant either.Just passing on info about what resuming drinking can do.Didn't leave her homeless and still helping with the bills,but I lost everything.And she'll never take me back!!!!
Accepted and thanks for sharing.

BTW .. you're probably right about her never taking you back .. but then again, she just might take back a better man - I've been there, bro - good luck
 

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Thanks for sharing, that's the first step. We learned that there is a whole dynamics (relapse dynamics) that happens before the first drink- We are so close in our group that we can tell when one of us is going to go back out just by the attitude and sometimes break the cycle by confronting that person (if he is willing to listen). When did you start to get the f***its? Do you have a support group?
 

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I may just be an old cold hearted ba$tard but if you looked up a 40 year old flame it might not have been the alcohol talkin. Sounds like you may have other probs at home.
And since I'm being a a-hole I gotta throw this in for chuckles:

looked up an old flame from 40 years in my past (man was I ever horny).
We hit it off real well (Wow, she was horny too)
Thought this was still the love of my life (she looked FINE)
Long story short,left my wife of 35 years (I really liked the sex)
quit my job (I mean I REALLY liked the sex)
moved 400 miles to her place (I REALLY REALLY liked the sex)
only to find,opps,I ****ed up (well, the sex wasn't really that good and she really ain't all that fine).
Seriously, I feel for ya. If ya think the drinkin caused it, remember the old saying "all things in moderation".
Hope I haven't pi$$ed ya'll off with my rambling.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
JCTulsa said:
I may just be an old cold hearted ba$tard but if you looked up a 40 year old flame it might not have been the alcohol talkin. Sounds like you may have other probs at home.
And since I'm being a a-hole I gotta throw this in for chuckles:

looked up an old flame from 40 years in my past (man was I ever horny).
We hit it off real well (Wow, she was horny too)
Thought this was still the love of my life (she looked FINE)
Long story short,left my wife of 35 years (I really liked the sex)
quit my job (I mean I REALLY liked the sex)
moved 400 miles to her place (I REALLY REALLY liked the sex)
only to find,opps,I ****ed up (well, the sex wasn't really that good and she really ain't all that fine).
Seriously, I feel for ya. If ya think the drinkin caused it, remember the old saying "all things in moderation".
Hope I haven't pi$$ed ya'll off with my rambling.
lol. Nope,you totaly missed it.Didn't have any on the first visit.This was a gal that I had been engaged to,she left me I never knew why.Her ghost haunted me for the whole time.When I found her she said she had ****ed up when she left,struck a chord of the old relationship.Thought we could go back.She is now indepently wealthy.After a couple of visits I thought the feeling was still there.It was for her,but not for me.If I hadn't been drinking,I wouldn't have followed up on it.That's the whole point.So I got depressed,packed my **** and came back to stay with friends.Bottom line is ,no matter how much you want it,you can't go back,and drinking only makes it worse..Russ
 

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just like that ?

madmech said:
After a year and a half of being sober,I went on a couple of runs.Decided to drink on both of them.On the way home from the second one,looked up an old flame from 40 years in my past.We hit it off real well.Thought this was still the love of my life.Long story short,left my wife of 35 years,quit my job,moved 400 miles to her place only to find,opps,I ****ed up.Moved back to town,staying with friends,deeply depressed,trying to stop the drinking with limited success.I will have my old job back once I can get out of this depression.But its looking like I will never get my wife or house back.
Word to the wize,once you get sober,STAY THERE!!!!! Russ
Damn Russ, this sucks man, sorry to hear this, but I need to know how it really went down man.

poof, just like that, you're all drunked up, and you just go and look up an ole flame ?

you didn't call her, you don't know if she's married and has children? You know she's home ? How'd you know where she lived man? How'd you know she'd see ya ?
Were ya drunk when you got to her place ? was she ok with the fact that you were drunk ?

You didn't know if she still knew who you were, or had any interest in you ....... Did you talk to her before you 'dropped in' on her ?

so, what you are telling us, is that you had NO PRIOR contact with her for 40 years, and you just dropped by her place on a drunk and whamo, your life goes in the crapper.

is that how it went down ?
 

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It's amazing what happens when we replace Gods will with our will. I know in my case, when ever I make it a case of "my will be done", I usually get exactly what's coming to me. Funny how that works out.

Just remember, there is nothing we can screw up, that a little Good Orderly Direction in our lives can't help.​
 

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I hear ya brother. I hope things work out for you. Keep on doing the best you can and that's all anyone can do. You skrewed up major but it ain't the end of the world. Ya gotta find some way to let go and move on with the next stage of your life. You can play the "what ifs" the rest of your life and all it will do is make you miserable. And prob go back to the bottle and you know you won't find any good answers there.
So grieve for a while, tell your old lady you're sorry then go see what else is out there. Its a BIG world. Go get your part of it.
Best of luck to ya,

Jerry
 

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Discussion Starter #19
fxr4mikey said:
Damn Russ, this sucks man, sorry to hear this, but I need to know how it really went down man.

poof, just like that, you're all drunked up, and you just go and look up an ole flame ?

you didn't call her, you don't know if she's married and has children? You know she's home ? How'd you know where she lived man? How'd you know she'd see ya ?
Were ya drunk when you got to her place ? was she ok with the fact that you were drunk ?

You didn't know if she still knew who you were, or had any interest in you ....... Did you talk to her before you 'dropped in' on her ?

so, what you are telling us, is that you had NO PRIOR contact with her for 40 years, and you just dropped by her place on a drunk and whamo, your life goes in the crapper.

is that how it went down ?
Pretty much,.we were engaged for 4 years back in the day,but I had had no contact in forty years and was curious.Wasn't drunk at the time but was buzzed.Just dropped in outa the sky.After that We emailed and talked on the phone a bunch for a month during which I spent a weekend there.Thoght it was goin to be like the old days.It wasn't.by then the damage was done. But if I hadn't been drinking,I don't think it woulda happened. Stay sober,Russ
 

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Man I'm glad I do not drink anymore!!!!! !drunk! Well if your wife won't take you back, maybe the old flame being "independently wealthy" might be your life line? It's funny what money can to to rekindle a relationship.:huh:
 
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