Just as a matter of interest and to present another point of view, this is a copy of an article I got today in the weekly NZMSF e-mail.
Pondering the meaning of life and road rage:
When someone drives badly and places their life at risk, many riders
react by getting into an argument with the errant driver.
The idea, the annoyed rider will say, is to change the attitude of that
driver and make sure he never risks any motorcyclist's life again.
The trouble is, where the problem has arisen because of the motorist's
incompetence or carelessness, such an exchange between driver and motorist
is unlikely to change anything one whit.
We all recognise that mistakes are made. This is precisely why we preach
that you must always leave yourself a clear exit path. You allow for
one, and you use it. That driver made a mistake, and because you made
allowances, nothing happened. It was a non-incident.
I would go further to say that, in this sort of situation, at the moment
that you, the rider, and he, the driver, realised that he goofed, you
are both in full agreement. You think to yourself "****! That was too
close!" He thinks to himself "Whoa! That was close."
Only later do you add "Stupid moke should pay more attention. What an
asshole!" This still matches his "I gotta be more careful. I'll bet he
thinks I'm an asshole."
Full agreement on both sides. Not only did nothing painful happen, but
there's no need to discuss that which didn't happen, because you already
agree that it shouldn't have happened.
At this point, it should be over, save for the crying to your penpals
on the Internet. Indeed, it is over. Whatever follows is a separate incident.
You might be feeling righteous, and have an overpowering need to assert
your position in the world. You've then become the aggressor, complete
with malicious intent.
Independently, he might rebound and swing too far the other way: "I'm
not an asshole. I'll show him!" At which point, it becomes something
other than a simple case of risky driving error. It becomes full-blown,
dangerous aggression.
I don't believe I'm speaking from ignorance, and certainly not with naivety.
I am very aware that people play silly games on the road. And I'm very
aware that there are precisely four kinds of people on the road: there's
you, the careless assholes, the out-and-out assholes, and the background
noise.
We all believe, probably without exception that we are careful, skilled,
right-thinking, and attentive drivers. Courteous might or might not be
part of it, but that's a different subject. No amount of words will change
that for any of us.
But I'll say it again anyway: in most of these "close calls", nothing
happened; it was a non-incident; there was no malice, and therefore,
no slight; any slight you might construe is yours alone, and as such,
is not justification for any follow up action.
And what do you achieve by lecturing the driver on his driving failure?
A man wearing a uniform, nurse-maiding traffic, might delude himself
that he's doing something meaningful with his life. He might lecture
about safety as he hands back your license. Maybe he even goes home believing
he reached a few of the empty noggins he sees everyday.
If he does, he'll be one of the few. I don't know a single person who
acknowledges having learned anything useful from one of those roadside
lectures. You sit there and take it because you're one of the sheep caught
with your hand in the cookie jar, just like the little child that the
condescending slob likewise pretends that you are. Maybe you're OK with
that; maybe you're not.
On the other hand, see the confrontation between motorcyclist and car
driver from the car driver's perspective. The man you almost ran over
dismounts his bike at the red light and approaches you. Is he going to
talk or fight. You are immediately on the defensive. What does he have
to say that you don't already know?
"Howdy, stranger. You almost killed me back there." No ****, Sherlock!
Nope, he's not there for that at all. What kind of conversation do you
think you can have? Do you have some insights about mirrors and shoulder
checks that he doesn't already know?
Again, maybe you're OK with the condescending bull that's likely to spew
forth. But more likely, you're not, and without the presence of the badge
and the official capacity it represents, you will feel more free to express
your discontent with the rider's self righteousness.
Case closed? Not by far. No matter how loud you yell, they're not listening.
It's wasted breath if your intent truly was to educate; any lesson to
be learned had already been delivered. If you were expecting an apology,
and didn't get so much as an embarrassed wave before, what do you think
your presence at his door is going to accomplish?
Are you perhaps thinking to beat an apology out of him? As soon as you
do this, the matter becomes a criminal offence and you are the criminal.
No amount of explaining how the dude's bad driving placed your life in
danger is going to sway the judge one whit. The resulting criminal record
will dog your life when looking for employment or in other important
ways for years to come.
If you learn to control yourself and, after that second or two of annoyance
with the incompetence and thoughtlessness of those bad drivers, shrug
off the incident as just part of the learning curve, you'll no doubt
live a long and happy life on the road.
And that, surely, is what motorcycling is all about.