[nyaz2000]

OK, I want to R-I-D-E this weekend, but I've got a s**t-load of relatives coming to visit! Looking for some creative ways to weasel out of the sittin' & spinnin' thing, and get in the WIND.... and its gotta be better than "F*** 'em all & just go".

 

[JimmyK]

Come down with something contagious and "Offer" to leave for the good of the family. If that don't work, F*** 'em all & just go, chanting a curse on all of em and their unborn to the 5th generation unless they agree to ASK you to go for a ride. If they refuse at first to ASK you to go for a ride, then roll your eyes to the back of your head and hurl some split pea soup on the youngest person in the room while pissing on the carpet. (Don't do this in the kitchen because that is disgusting behavior for a biker.)Then, start tearing paper from the top right hand corner slowly to the bottom while staring at the oldest person in the room. Make sure at the point where you reach the bottom of the paper you cock your head back, let out a HUGE Cock-a-Doodle-Do, followed in rapid succesion of 4, three second quick chants of "Bill Clinton takes it in the ass", and then calmly ask if anyone wants a Pizza.
I promise, it works for me EVERY time.

There how's that?

 

[Dawg]

Jimmy............you a'int right dude. I love it.

 

[rhauft]

Jimmy, you are incorrigible!

Back in '84, I showed up at my relatives for Thanksgiving with a nasty flu. They haven't invited me back since. I think of them fondly while I ride.

Start coughing

 

[Straydog]

nyaz2000, I would really like to know if JimmyK's suggestion works for you.

Brother Jimmy, how did you ever come up with that? Was it spur of the moment, or did it take a lot of planning? You are the man!

 

[JimmyK]

Brother Jimmy, how did you ever come up with that? Was it spur of the moment, or did it take a lot of planning?

Not much planning at all and as a contingency you can substitute the Pizza with chicken wings.

 

[nyaz2000]

JimmyK

Hey, man...I already used that ploy last weekend, and I'm gettin' tired of split pea soup (though no more tired of it than my 2 year old grandaughter who was the spitting target...but what the hell..she spits up on me all the time)! Let's hear some other suggestions.

 

[Big Al]

Drastic times call for drastic measures.

(You didn't mention if the relatives were in-laws or not; it really doesn't matter anyway.)

My solution is straight forward! Move!

I don't live in Nebraska for the good weather!

Relatives live in California and England.

Actually didn't move here for that reason, but it works for me.

 

[Roadking96]

How to go riding.

nyaz2000,


Listen to JimmyK. That brother does not B.S. one bit!! If you follow half of the advice, you will never have this situation to put up with again.




Ride Safe.

 

[HIPPO]

Jimmy is very creative and slightly confrontational. I just would put on my boots and my jacket, and on the way to the bike give them a "see ya later". Works for me.

 

[JimmyK]

Re: JimmyK

Hey, man...I already used that ploy last weekend, and I'm gettin' tired of split pea soup (though no more tired of it than my 2 year old grandaughter who was the spitting target...but what the hell..she spits up on me all the time)! Let's hear some other suggestions.

Hmmmmm? OH I KNOW!

Quick, go to the store NOW, buy two cans of Ranch Style Beans and a half a pound of Cabbage.

Simmer the Cabbage for 25 minutes over a low flame.
Prepare Ranch Style Beans
Place the entire contents in one large bowl.
Wolf down Rapidly and do NOT chew the food more that three times per spoonful.

When you get up in the morning DO NOT TAKE A ****!

Wait to greet relatives at the door.

With a large smile say howdy and then bust some wind as they are in the front hallway. ( Good use of restricted air space.)

Stand there grinning and blowing until they ask you if you are ok. Tell em, "Yes, but I am a bit clogged up right now and the only thing that seems to losen me up when I'm like this is a ride."

When they suggest you take one, ( keep blowin em,... they will... trust me), then you thank them with a smile and say, "are you sure I should leave?" You will receive a resounding YES! and badda bing badda BOOM! Yer ridin!


Plus ya save almost 15 bucks on Pizza!

 

[nyaz2000]

JimmyK

YOU ARE ONE SICK DUDE!....I'll try it.....Wonder if I can still toot "Old MacDonald Had a Farm?

 

[JimmyK]

Sure ya can! It's the E I E I O part that's kind a tricky.

Good luck!

 

[nyaz2000]

Picture

This has nothing to do with the topic, but here's my first attempt at posting a pic. It's a montage of my ride.

http://www.photogra.com/galleries/37779/curr/7775107_20020309_110359_20020309110359.jpg

 

[UltraHeadCase]

Can’t give you any ideas about excuses, but I can tell you that being up front about what you want is the easiest way to go. I pick up my Ultra on Monday and then head to Mesa AZ to see my mom and brother, who I haven’t seen in a couple of years, and I plan on meeting with Hippo. I told my wife tonight what my plans were and she didn’t have any problems with it. See, she knows how important riding and motorcycles are to me and supports me because I tell her what is important. Now if you’ve made a commitment, then you gotta stick with it, but if you haven’t…then tell em like it is and go and ride.

Dave

 

[Big Al]

Right on! I've already identified the rally's I'm planning on attending this year. The wife knows if her "butt" wants to put up with it, she's welcome, otherwise, she has her 'girl support group' that will take care of her while I'm gone!

Cheers