Yup, there have been any number of failures, but predominantly on the 45A bikes.
There was a bulletin a while back where they informed the dealers that there was a new improved part available, problem is they told them to use up existing stock of the old parts on the 38A bikes.
If you paid for it and got the old part you are SOL.
If you had the info before paying the dealer and called HD customer service they would likely helped you, outside chance they still may. I know that they picked up the tab for a bunch of people, for some in more then one occasion. They are well aware that there was a problem.
There is no question the dealer had the data on the situation, looks like he chose not to give you any information or do you any favours.
Running the passing lamps has no effect on the stator and in most cases is good for the regulator if the bike is ridden a little on the hard side.