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Old 05-14-2019, 09:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Lisle, Illinois
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bobcajun wants to know Dino or Syn?
Not clean

Hoping this doesn't come off as hypocritical. I drink, smoke a little.

My girl, who I love and have been with for 16 years is a sweet, kind person. When she drinks, she goes to the point of being nonfunctional.

I've been embarrassed countless times in social settings by this. She also has injured herself a couple times, hides bottles, etc.

What I've recently started doing is being calm, and treating it like it is, a disability.

I'll go on rides solo, parties, concerts, too. I just say I will not be able to meet her needs for a caretaker.

We do go to functions together. Went to a concert last month. BUT, the day of the event I make it clear. Any drinking, and all bets are off. I've tried other things, and this seems to work best. I know it's just a band aid on the problem, but nothing else has seemed to do the trick.

There. I said it.
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Old 05-14-2019, 05:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: southcentral LA
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Alan S just installed tassels Alan S just installed tassels Alan S just installed tassels
She needs help. Until she's ready to accept it, there's not much you can do.

Sent from here to there.
You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
Ayn Rand paraphrase

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Old 05-14-2019, 06:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: MDI, Maine
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Malx wants to know Dino or Syn?
Originally Posted by Alan S View Post
She needs help. Until she's ready to accept it, there's not much you can do.

Sent from here to there.
As stated above. Sounds like she is in total denial. Not an easy task you have in front of you. I'm sure you have a lot invested in your relationship and I hope with some much needed help things will get better.
Tis better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and erase all doubt.... Lincoln
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Nakina NC 28455
Posts: 9,566
captainhook455 is reading this now saying WTF is this?
I did it all. Rehab for a month then pt for 6 weeks twice. Moved to another state it worked for awhile. I went to churches took counseling. Nothing worked. One day I decided to quit and it was a month before my wife asked if I quit drinking. Shows how much she bothered with me. You can't help her no one can. Two things you can do is hang around until she sees the light or say goodbye.

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Old 05-17-2019, 12:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Michigan
Posts: 5
rlrussell32 wants to know Dino or Syn?
Well, BobCajun, I WAS a certified, Professional, Functional Alcoholic for many years and it took, TOTAL RENAL failure for me to quit. Three DUI's and ONE VERY good and expensive lawyer didn't make me quit. HOWEVER, Two weeks in CC-ICU, unable to move, last rights... the whole final BS episode. I QUIT!!! My then and current EX still drinks like a fish and then some....9 years down the drain with her. She won't change unless SHE wants to. Best of luck to you but I've been there and done it... it doesn't get any prettier...move on.
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