Hoping this doesn't come off as hypocritical. I drink, smoke a little.
My girl, who I love and have been with for 16 years is a sweet, kind person. When she drinks, she goes to the point of being nonfunctional.
I've been embarrassed countless times in social settings by this. She also has injured herself a couple times, hides bottles, etc.
What I've recently started doing is being calm, and treating it like it is, a disability.
I'll go on rides solo, parties, concerts, too. I just say I will not be able to meet her needs for a caretaker.
We do go to functions together. Went to a concert last month. BUT, the day of the event I make it clear. Any drinking, and all bets are off. I've tried other things, and this seems to work best. I know it's just a band aid on the problem, but nothing else has seemed to do the trick.
There. I said it.