Advise for fear

[Bot]

I'm seeking advise, especially from the ladies, for helping my wife get started riding. Here's our story:

My wife is a'scairt of bikes. I'm just now getting her on the back of mine. Funny thing, she actually had me buy her one, so she could "be in control", which I did.

1st day out, in an empty parking lot, she did fantasticly. Shifting no problem, stopping, she tended to put her feet down before it stopped, but was working on that.

2nd day, she couldn't wait to get out, she hit the neighborhood at 7 am.
oops, she couldn't handle a stop sign, going up a hill, with an immediate right turn afterwards, dropped it. Called me to pick it up. (broke the front rt turn signal, no paint damage, no injuries whatsoever)

She can't get back on it, seemingly terrified.

Now, I've been trying to get her (us) into the MSF class, but it isn't available until August, with sign ups in mid-July.

She is bent on selling it. (That would cost a fortune, as its a new VStar, very upside-down in the financing right now). I want her to at least take the class before she gives up.

Ladies, how can I convince her to take the cotton-pickin' class before making her final decision?! I understand her fear, but she had so much fun that 1st day that I think she potentially will be missing out on lots of future riding fun.

Oh, we just celebrated our 19th anniversary, and I'd like to celebrate number 20.

[94c4]

Lock the car keys where she can't find them.
Then offer her to go out and try to ride her bike again.
When she starts saying that she's afraid just shout at her to shut up, get on her bike, and don't come back until she has covered at least 100 miles!
Then immediately get on your bike and ride for your life.
She'll get on her bike allright, and she'll be fast too!

[fxdx99]

Have her read "Bike Lust: Harleys, Women, and American Society" by Barbara Joans. (I'm close on the title, but might be a little off). According to her book, ALL the women she interviewed are afraid at first, but eventually the thrill overcomes it.

[Bot]

right! good one, 94c4.

Once, early in our marriage, we got in a knock down, drag out, out and out fight. I didn't see her for like three days.....well, on the third day, my left eye opened just enough to make out her shape....

[94c4]

Originally posted by Bot
right! good one, 94c4.

Once, early in our marriage, we got in a knock down, drag out, out and out fight. I didn't see her for like three days.....well, on the third day, my left eye opened just enough to make out her shape....

Then you better be very fast too.

[BigDogR]

Just a guess...but isn't the Vstar a pretty big/heavy scoot for a beginner (regardless of sex)? As evidenced by her need to call you to pick it up.
When I took my MSF they made you lift your bike from a full lean down w/out dropping it. They say if you cant lift it, you should not ride it.
Perhaps the best solution would be to trade that Vstar in on something smaller. She will likely be less intimidated by the smaller bike and have more success riding it.
My .02 Good Luck!

[hogg831]

Originally posted by Bot
right! good one, 94c4.

Once, early in our marriage, we got in a knock down, drag out, out and out fight. I didn't see her for like three days.....well, on the third day, my left eye opened just enough to make out her shape....

[Bot]

BigDogR-

The V-Star (650) came highly recommended by other lady riders. Is actually not top-heavy, but sits very low and is extremely well balanced. She could pick it up if she wanted to. She was no doubt "panicky" after dropping it. Heck, if I can pick it up, she can. (why do you think we've been married for 19 yrs? I'm AFRAID to leave ) My wife can flat-foot the thing barefoot, with room to spare. No, that's not the problem, just general fear of the whole concept of two wheels.

I admit, I didn't want a 250cc white elephant on my hands once she outgrew it, in 3 or 4 weeks. But I'm not going to trade down now.

The more you push her, the less likely she'll be to get back on and ride. If she wants to ride, she will.

Keep your mouth shut, drag your feet on selling it, sign her up for the beginner course and leave the paperwork where she can find it. Pick up a few lady rider books and leave them laying around too. The "Bike Lust" book (FXDX99 was right-on about title and author) is on sale at Amazon. They also have it bundled with "Hear Me Roar: Women, Motorcycles and the Rapture of the Road.", both for $31.12 with free slowpoke shipping ...

[chops]

Tell her that if she takes the class, (and you will fund for the class Bot)and still wants to sell it , she can. Take the loss, walk away.

By taking the class, she will learn not only how to be a safer rider, but a passenger too.

Don't force her into doing something she doesn't want to do. That could lead to disaster and you know what I'm talking about.
Strike it up as experience, she should have taken the class BEFORE you bought her a bike. Maybe someone else will read this and learn beforehand. Good Luck Bro.

[pasadenajim]

You can't make your wife want to ride her own. Time may help though.

Don't sell the bike. Keep it in the garage and you can take it out occasionally. Maybe, just maybe, she'll want to ride it later.

Now, some tough questions:

WHY did your wife take out a bike without having taken the msf class? There have been numerous threads in this forum about new riders (even those who previously rode) getting on bikes without taking the msf class. People buy new bikes all the time, then crash them. I didn't see anything in your post about your wife even having a motorcycle license????? You've got to take some responsibility here.

Why start a lady on such a large bike? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the big tough bikers out there will tell ya' you can start on a HUGE bike and ride it just find. Women often don't have the egos that men have. Women have the good sense to not try something beyond their abilities. Why did she get started on such a large big?

Why aren't you happy with your wife riding two-up with you?

Think about that good woman for awhile. She's been with you for nearly 2 decades. Think about what she wants.

I'm off my soapbox. Take this good counsel for the good counsel it is meant to be.

[02 Sporty]

Originally posted by Boismier
The more you push her, the less likely she'll be to get back on and ride. If she wants to ride, she will.

I agree. She has to be the one to want to ride. Don't pressure her. She's probably nervous enough since she dropped the bike.

You said she was scared of bikes and was reluctant to ride as a passenger on yours. Fear can sometimes be very hard to overcome.

It probably would have worked out better if she had taken the MSF class before trying to ride her own bike but there's nothing that can be done about that now. My advice would be to encourage her to take the class now. She may feel a little less intimidated if she knows that she'll be riding a 250cc bike in the class. If she refuses to take the class you may just have to drop the idea of her riding right now and she may or may not decide to give it another try later.

[RiverRat]

The V-Star 650 is a sweet bike, I almost got one myself!

She should be fine with that bike, it's kind of big bike for a 650. Still, after a few months she wouldn't want anything less.

Are there any lady rider groups around your area? How about the ladies forum here? The safety course is a great idea too!

For some reason, women listen to other women (even if they are complete strangers). So what that you've been married 19 years!

I going to pick-up a manual on my 02/883 today. They don't make a manual for women because it would change daily and the instructions still would not be right!

Still - I think letting other women bikers talk with her is the key. New female biker friends for her would be a BIG plus!

I have not had a bike in 10 years. But I kept talking about it. One day earlier this month while driving, I stopped at a local bike shop. My wife wouldn't even go into the store with me! She was majorly torked!

Later, after talking with her friend about the horrors that I was putting her through by wanting a cycle.... she found out that her friends husband was talking about a bike too! But instead of being dead set again it, her friend was fine with it! Then my wife found out that her friend actually rode before - she has a cycle license and all!

I then overheard my wife say how 'pretty of a purple' that V-Start Classic was (she evidently saw the bike through the show room window)!

Whow, all of a sudden things changed. I started looking and got a 02/883 days later. By the end of the week, her friends husband had his bike too!

Was it competition? Reassurance? Maybe because we could all ride together? Hell, I don't know and never wil. But Larry (her friends husband) and I both have new bikes now!

What's the meaning of that story? I don't know, except that other women can sometimes do things with your wife that you can't (hum... well that's another story)!

Originally posted by jrwpmw
For some reason, women listen to other women ...

That's because after talking to some men, they discovered that they're a bunch of drooling, nose-picking, dumb as a box of rocks, few apples short of a barrel, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, paper-hat wearing 'do you want fries with that?' apes ...

[medicinewoman]

Bosimer is right drag your heels about selling. V-Star is perfect for her. Although 250's you can hop right on and ride no problem. But like you said again you have a white elephant. The first problem I seen was getting her out onto the streets the second day. And having her manuver a hill. Shi^ I did'nt do the hill thing for a few weeks. Get her back out in the parking lot. Put the miles on out there first till she is real comfortable. Practice, stopping and going, turns. But I'm getting ahead of my self. MSF course is a must. Without a doubt. Good luck. Have her call me if you would like I'm a newbie and riding. PM me and give me your number or you can have your wife call me. OK?

Cheri aka Medicine Woman