Stupid Biker Tricks!

[IRONMAN0fCLEVE]

Okay...so I left a post as I was struggling with my new Craftsman 1500lb bike lift. I wouldn't go all the way up. I realized after posting for help that I strapped the bike to the bottom frame of the jack so it COULDN'T go all the way up. I know. DUH!

It was recommended I start a thread for all to share their "brain fart" moments so we can laugh together at each of our own DUH moments.

Maybe the best entry per month gets a prize?

Okay. We all have done it. What's your worst DUH experience working on a bike?

[bill corkey]

Originally Posted by IRONMAN0fCLEVE

Okay...so I left a post as I was struggling with my new Craftsman 1500lb bike lift. I wouldn't go all the way up. I realized after posting for help that I strapped the bike to the bottom frame of the jack so it COULDN'T go all the way up. I know. DUH!

It was recommended I start a thread for all to share their "brain fart" moments so we can laugh together at each of our own DUH moments.

Maybe the best entry per month gets a prize?

Okay. We all have done it. What's your worst DUH experience working on a bike?

i do chit like that all the time but usually catch myself before i have to scream for help.

[Coolmaker]

AND, you really expect us to tell... LMFAO

[hdwoman48]

You get a lot of credit for admitting that!

[Ahar]

the latest was when I caused a gushing geyser of crap blow chunks all over me.

lets just say I have my moments when I hope I am learning something.

[ViennaHog]

Many years ago I was wrenching on my Austin Mini Cooper and checked the clutch fluid reservoir by sticking my pinkie into the neck. Went in easy, level was good, but couldn't get the finger back out as there was a sharp beveled edge, that caught up the joint. Pulling made it worse and hydraulic fluid has its own ways to deal with human tissue. So after a while I resorted to screaming for help and finally my mother showed up which at least got her on the phone to call my mechanic friend. He laughed his ass off when he realized what I got stuck with and only a serious bribe (alcohol was part of the package) made him disassemble the entire mechanism which took an hour or so. Eventually I got at least disconnected from the car, but now with a nice new attachment that was so tightly wrapped around my pinkie that it really started to hurt bad. There are much more enjoyable tight fits of certain body parts as far as I could tell. Anyhow, we put the entire master cylinder into a vice and he started cutting the neck of the reservoir with a hack saw. And my other intact fist was in striking distance to his nose in case it was needed........

After some time of cutting and swearing the finger came out and it looked real bad, but some hand cream and alcohol (orally) did the trick and it stopped hurting. Moral of the story: Don't stick any body parts into uncharted holes without a serious and thorough risk analysis. Stupid teenager I was, but that's another story

[ezriderbeef]

OK... since no one else seems to want to share... i will...

put rinehart TD's on my ultra this summer.... everything was goind very well.... original crossover came off easy, all original pipes and clamps came off easy....

the front pipe went on very nicely and fit perfect, but that rear pipe just didnt seam to be fitting...... so after struggling with it for a while i got it lodged in and i couldnt get it to move.... so i let go to catch my breath, and it fell right on the starter... sparks flying everywhere, got zapped trying to get the pipe out of there smoke rolling... and i finally got it out....

some dumba$$ forgot to DISCONNECT THE BATTERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that dumba$$ being me... so, the fireworks managed to put a rather nice HOLE in my new rear pipe... luckily i have a friend who is a very good welder and got the pipe fixed..... needless to say, the battery was FRIED!!!!!!!! but when all was said and done... the bike runs and sounds very nice now..... and has a new battery......

lesson learned....... for now

[IRONMAN0fCLEVE]

thanks to the folks with the b#$$s to contribute. We all have our moments. These were fun to read about.

[steveusmc]

or..like when my son-in-law was changing to synthetic oil and as he poured in the new $10 per quart honey I asked him, in jest, if he put the oil plug in...and then looked underneath as the new oil ran right into the turkey pan with the old oil...that one will give me a lot of mileage....cuz I know I would NEVER do anything like that...yeah sure.

[sonoffatboy]

car story..

new years day in northern ontario visiting friends was probably 30below when we woke up...course the car wouldn't start..

get a boost still won't start...buddy has a can of quick start ..take off the breather spray healthy dose...cough, sputter nothing..


ok so now spray 1/3 of can in ..cough sputter.boom.sputter boom...holee shittt fire.!..so this stuff is burning a 2' high flame outta the carb..

i panic grab handfulls of snow and put the fire out...

snow turns to water goes into the carb...now the thing will never start..spent two days with the beast in heated garage...finally the old guy gets it running..but all those sputters/explosions of the quick start has buggered the electronics of the lean burn puter....and there is no dealership within 100 miles and this old time garage guy just shrugged his shoulders...
i drove home 200 miles with the thing backfiring...half stalling...barley making it up the hills...lost 3 days off work...not to mention overstaying our welcome.....

[Scrubs]

Inserted into the top clamp plate of Fury's triple tree there is a ground wire leading from the headlight. It is held/clamped by a starred-eye electrical connector and some POS MoCo pot metal screw (prolly aluminum alloy to prevent rust ).

The wire was slightly twisted and resting off-center by about 10 degrees, sitting at the 4 O'Clock position. This was not causing any real stress other than being unsightly whenever my eyes happened to fall upon it...evry damned day for about a year.

It reminded me of a big ugly inflamed zit on a beautiful pornstar babe's otherwise hot, sssmokin' A$$!

It was overcast, windy and a bit nippily for riding that Sunday morning.
So, I thought that I should re-position the wire's star washer connector and replace the pot metal screw with stainless steel.

Maybe it was too much coffee or my massive bicep/tricep combo; but, the very 1st twist of the screwdriver torqued it off just under the shoulder, leaving the screw's shaft protruding about 1/32".

Vise grips just shredded the minimal protrusion; tapping and drilling didn't work at all...THAT POS WASN'T COMING OUT!

Long story short = 4 1/2 hours of tinkering with that stoopid little MoCo screw and the triple tree and keeping the mess all lubed with Liquid Wrench that kept dripping all over the bike and the garage floor.

Oh by the way, that day turned beautiful about an hour into the job and I kept hearing V-Twin engines roaring by on the interstate about a 1/4 mile from my house.

[Texas Tom]

My brother in law is not very mechanically inclined so he asked me to help with his leaky toilet.I told him he needed a new flow valve suggested he get rid of the old ballcock and go to the new kind that has a float over the shaft,so off to home depot we go he decided to do both of his toilets and bought a third valve for me since I helped him,no prob about 15 mins per toilet were done,I go home and figured to do my toilet,which was having no problems at all,I replace the hose and valve with the new ones,now the toilet wont shut off,then the cutoff valve quit working so I have to shut water off to the whole house,run to home depot buy anothe cutoff valve get another flapper figure thats the prob reach in to change flapper overfow pipe comes off in my hand.Now I have to remove the toilet back to replace that put a nice piece of carpet down to lay the back on,it slipped out of my hands and shattered.....guess what cant buy just the back...gotta buy a new toilet......moral of the story..IF IT AINT BROKE DONT FIX IT!!!!!