mother taught me

[Ahar]

Things your Mother doesn't want you to ever forget. How well I remember!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. -
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. -
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. -
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. -
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. -
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. -
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. -
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. -
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. -
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. -
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. -
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. -
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. -
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. -
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. -
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. -
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. -
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. -
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. -
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. -
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[AllenM]

WOW!! I didn't think my mother had any other sons!!

[OldMsocko]

Truer words have never been spoken.

[tolson1948]

AHAR, Thanks for the memories, so familiar.